I am in Pattaya, Thailand and feeling so free and light of the burdens and hurt I carried from my last experience in Thailand. God promised me redemption if I came, and I found it on one of the darkest streets in Pattaya.
Let me back track for a moment. I came to Phuket, Thailand in November 2010, on the WR. I felt sick and was barely able to stay standing most days. Satan attacked me physically, spiritually, and emotionally everyday. I have never had to fight so hard to get through a month, and I never wanted to return to Thailand.
Never say never to God.
Two months after returning from the WR, I attended Iris Ministries Harvest School in Mozambique. It's a mission training school led by Heidi and Rolland Baker. I was so confused why I was there. I didn't want to do ministry. I didn't want to be around so many people. I didn't want to be around children(that was the big shocker). However, over the course of two months, God restored me and was preparing me to return to SE Asia.
"I am not strong enough God! I can't do it!" I said through my tears. I was afraid.
God showed me that this was why he is taking me back, because I can't do it alone. I need to depend on him. The Iris team is setting up a base in Thailand and Cambodia. I feel God calling me to serve in Cambodia, but he wanted me to come to Thailand first.
I went through the same motions, why am I here...God I don't understand?
The first week in Bangkok was hard; I felt the spiritual warfare much differently. It was subtle and deceptive. Our team split and I came to Pattaya with eight others. The other night we went near Walking Street to visit The Bridge, a center for children to come at night while their parents are working in the bars. It was there that everything changed. We prayed over a little girl who has CP and then I got to hold her and help her eat. Something broke off me in the spirit, I felt it, and the others on my team noticed. I can't explain it. I felt joy, peace, and love for this little girl and found redemption for Thailand in my heart. It came in the form of a child.
The next night we went to worship and walk through the bars on Soi 6, I saw hope and light for the first time. God is redeeming Thailand and has brought redemption to me. He delivers on his promises.
The darkness will not have a hold on this place much longer! Praise the Lord as he continues to do marvelous things!!
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge
sounds good, right?
On the race God asked, or told, me over and over again, "Love them, whether they love you in return." He was talking about my team. It was hard to do all the time. I wanted to feel loved in return, but that wasn't what God called me to do. When you pour out and don't see or feel anything in return, do you want to keep doing it? Sometimes it's easier to love strangers than those closest to you, to let go of yourself and simply obey God?
God began to speak this from the beginning of the race, at launch. Teams were asked to create a video of "What I Never Knew"....our team struggled to find an idea that was honoring one another, and I had trouble sleeping and prayed throughout the night. I woke up in tears to God saying, "What I never knew about...LOVE." It seemed so simple. We were already being tested in that and we just left the states.
When we
can truly love like Christ, we get more than we could ever imagine in
return.
I have been trying to write a blog that sums up this month....and that is hard. It is the last month of the World Race. There are a lot of emotions that are tied to that, but also, disbelief. I am not going to lie, some days were so hard, felt like the race would never end, but other days and months flew by...and today, we just finished our last day of ministry on the WR. I don't even know what to say really, but I wanted to tell you about the amazing organization we have partnered with this month.
Caminul Felix is an organization that creates homes for orphans here in Romania. 20 years ago, after the Revolution, most orphanages housed about 500-1000 children that were often neglected or given sleeping pills to keep them quiet, and people started to see what was happening to these children and wanted to help.
Caminul Felix stepped up. They saw the importance of family and the need for love. They wanted to use the family structure to change the lives of these children forever. Each house parents has between 12 and 15 children, some biological but most are orphaned.
There are two villages here in Oradea, currently 16 homes that house just over 200 children. Our contact shared with us about his experience as a house parent, watching his children grow up, go to college, get married, and begin families of their own.
Each of the children are sponsored by individuals and
churches overseas. Caminul Felix has a farm, dairy, and gift shop
that provides funding for their organization as well. The children are
given love, security, food, and family, just what they need. It is truly
amazing to see how all the children take care of one another. Caminul
Felix is bringing their concepts to create home in other countries as
well and have began creating homes in Thailand and considering Africa.
Our teams were assisted by the local staff, parents, as well as teams from Italy and England. We helped build two foundations and install insulation, among many other things. We had fun even when two days of work were destroyed by a strong wind storm that blew through the house. It has been a great way to end our time on the race.
all the teams together after pouring the cement foundation.
Our contact took us to the invalid orphanage one our last days at camp. Just a few of us from the team went. I have been to a similar place in India, but there was something different about this place and the children. The facilities were clean and inviting. We were greeted by many of the older children. They were so eager to sit next to us and look at our watches. After a few minutes with them we were taken to the other children who were bedridden. There were so many little beds all lined up. Some of the children were sitting up, but most couldn't do that on their own.
Our
team stepped in and loved them. These children had
such frail bodies. I went over to one of the little boys, he didn't have
a name or age posted on his bed, but he had his hands raised waiting
for someone to come to him. I helped him sit up and
then lay him down and the giggles would pour out. Over and over
we played this game. One of the times I lifted him, he grabbed on so
tightly to be held or he wanted to run away...he was strong.
Thoughts began to run through my head. Do they get held and how often do they laugh? There are so many children..is there enough staff for that? The nurse told us we had to go, all this activity puts stress on them. We went into two more rooms. In the final room, I went up to a little boy in the corner; his name was Anton. He was eleven years old, but looked like he was four. His chest was enlarged and his legs were stuck in one position. He had such a beautiful face. He would take his hands and lift his head up to look around at all the people in the room. I crouched down to him and when my face was next to his, he laughed.
Every time he laughed, it made me cry. I still get all teary eyed thinking about this one boy. There was something about him that hit me. He won't be able to run and play like an eleven year old. He won't get to do many things that we take for granted. What was different about this boy that brought about these thoughts and emotions? I am not sure, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I got back to camp and my emotions were on the surface. I was trying to explain it to others who weren't able to come, but every time I would mention Anton, I couldn't continue. I walked away. One of my friends came after me and he said, "God Blesses Children."
There my hope lies...in God alone. He sees his children, loves them, and will BLESS them. They
We were all excited about coming to Eastern Europe but didn't expect the culture shock. We looked like we stepped into a world of fashion wearing rags. Some of us were too tired to care. We walked down streets that reminded me of DC. It was weird but definitely a good step before going home.
After Kiev, we took a 15 hour train to Lugansk(The trains are awesome!). Lugansk, is a smaller city with about 500,000 people. We worked with New Tone schools doing conversational English with students there. They debated and looked at different issues like global warming, crime and punishment, fashion, and God and religion. Sandy and I worked together at one of the locations and loved our staff and students. They showed us so much love and kindness. Some of our students took us around the city one night and on a picnic. They even brought us a cake and made us a card for our last night with them.
students on our last night
some of the staff at New Tone
We didn't want to leave New Tone. We didn't know how it could get any better. Then we went to Camp Dream. It is a camp for orphans and children in the area. We met some of the orphans during our time in Lugansk. Boba(pronounced Vova), a seven year old boy, I instantly fell in love with and he was "attached at the hip" as they say. There are so many kids that don't receive love and long for it, and we were able to give that. We were exhausted, but God filled me. I had just enough for the kids and our amazing staff/translators. We were so blessed. We played games, had bible class, crafts, and sports at the camp. We even went to the river and swam to Russia! Pretty cool.
We enjoyed ourselves so much here and it was hard to leave everyone. Our contacts, the Ferdon's were so amazing to us; they treated us as family. We were so blessed to serve along side this American couple who is committed to serve Lugansk for 10 years. You are amazing!!
On the last day, my class made me a card. It was so thoughtful and made me sad to leave. Another goodbye...leaving people that capture your heart.
